The title of this post may surprise you, considering my age. With being only twenty-one years old, this could very well come across as somewhat of a silly statement at first glance. But I can very much assure you, that what is written above happens to be quite true, and please allow me to explain to you why.
Hello there, lovelies! Thank you for checking in with me! Today is December 3rd, and I must say, I have honestly pondered the very thought of writing this particular post much longer than I would like to admit, as I haven't been entirely sure how to put my swirl of thoughts and emotions into words for this one post, until now.
Throughout my mid-teens to young adulthood, I've been on a small handful of dates. Some good experiences, some, well...Not so much. I remember my first date being the worst one. I was about fifteen and went out to an amusement park with a nineteen-year-old, who happened to act as if he were a good two years younger than me. I was slightly irritated that day, especially since I hadn't really realized that he considered it "a date" until it was too late to back out. But that's another story.
The truth is, I haven't had a whole lot of fun with dating. Even the good experiences weren't exactly ones I couldn't live without. But over time, I've learned a few things about myself and others, and why it is that I feel such a way. Each date I've been on, though with very different young men, have had something in common. The more I stop to think about it, I realize that each date had moments of blindness. The whole point of dating, at least traditionally, is to become closer with and get to know the person you happen to see potential in for a long-term relationship, and ultimately marriage. But without even realizing it until more recently, I couldn't picture myself with any of these guys that I had gone out with.
On the overall scale of things, I tend to set aside the experiences such as my first date when I was younger, as those are like practice runs. I wasn't even beginning to think about future plans such as marriage. At that time in life, you're simply figuring out how the game works before you move on up to the big leagues. But the more recent ones, really stick with me as fine examples. Now that I've taken a break from dating and relationships at this time in my life, I've realized how blinded I was either by infatuation, or, just holding out the simple hope that something would work out for a change. Therefore, I either liked them so much that I tried not to think about if they were really suitable as someone I could go through life with, or I found myself trying to like those who showed interest in me because insecurity can play a big role, too. We often times find ourselves unintentionally settling for much less than we deserve for fear of never receiving a better offer, or passing up on what could potentially be our last opportunity at a relationship.
I've stopped dating for many reasons, one being that I believe in order to give yourself to someone you need to be in a healthy state of mind. Which thankfully, I am in now. Low self-esteem can crush relationships, and gaining confidence in yourself, becoming more independent was something I knew I had to do before even thinking about getting back in the game. And as a result of working on that part of myself, I no longer feel as if I have to jump at the first opportunity that is presented to me. The truth is, in life relationship opportunities come a dime a dozen. You'll always find them, but you also have to be smart, because if you let your heart do all of the talking and throw caution to the wind, it's not always guaranteed you'll end up getting a quality one.
I'm not done with dating because I've given up on finding love. I'm just choosing to wait for someone I feel is entirely worth giving things a try with. We'll truly never have a way of knowing for sure if anything will work out in our favor, but, we always will have a way of knowing if we feel something is worth taking that risk for. And when that day comes, or that man, rather. I'll know if I want to take that chance.
I still believe that God has someone out there for me and when the timing is right, he'll come along. Until then, I'll work on preparing myself for that kind of serious relationship. I'll work on my career, save some money, follow my dreams, go on a few adventures, and take care of myself and those around me. Not a single moment will go to waste. With all of that being said, I thank you for taking a moment out of your day to spend some time with me. I hope that you all have a very happy and blessed day and thank you for reading!
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